And the decades disappear like sinking ships but we persevere

I had an appointment with an Endocrinologist today, one I had never met. I was a little nervous, he reviewed my history and began to examine my thyroid. He asked me all these questions about my childhood and where I grew up and work. I am not sure if he was just making small talk or if this was part of the examination. He explained what Hashimotos is and all the medical stuff. He could have skipped that part, but then he asked me what I want to know and what I want him to do. I have not had many doctors be so up front with me. I told him I just want to be me, the way I was before I developed this, I want to know how to get back to who I was. It took him a little while, but he admitted that Hashimotos patients never get back to 100%, you can get close, but never again would I be the old me. He told me he was Buddhist and he has learned that we are never who we used to be and things could be worse. I realized what he was saying, every moment changes us, every experience, but to stop and look around and know that things will be OK.

I admit I was a bit upset, I really had hope that I could get "me" back. I began to cry, I couldn't help it, something came over me and I... in a way felt hopeless. He told me he would help me with anything I need. He suggested some more tests to rule out other health issues that might be effecting me. I have clammed down and realize this is just the way I am, I cant change it. But I also know I can help it with naturally by taking care of myself. I really loved the fact that he was Buddhist and that he was so honest and up front. I have had doctors promise me that if they put me on this pill or that I will feel better, yadda, yadda. If I have learned anything its that there is no "magic" pill or quick fix.

The gluten free lifestyle is going very well. In fact since we were in the city today we were hungry and wanted to eat. We went into California Pizza Kitchen, they had gluten free food, however there were no gluten free pizza. We talked to the waiter and he said they took the gluten free pizza away because of employees and cross contamination. I really wish the restaurants would educate the employees on different allergies and the importance of handling food properly. We ended up at Pier 49 Pizza and they had gluten free pizza. I was pleasantly surprised at the taste. Cody got a regular meat lover pizza and tasted my gluten free Hawaiian and he liked mine better.

I am so thankful to have family that loves me. To have met my birth fathers family and have them in my life. To have such a wonderful husband that loves me so deeply and takes care of me. To have a job and money. To have a house, that we have made a home. All these things and more in my life that are so wonderful. Sometimes I forget how much I really have, I realize I need to step back and see how truly lucky I am.