I had an appointment with an Endocrinologist today, one I had never met. I was a little nervous, he reviewed my history and began to examine my thyroid. He asked me all these questions about my childhood and where I grew up and work. I am not sure if he was just making small talk or if this was part of the examination. He explained what Hashimotos is and all the medical stuff. He could have skipped that part, but then he asked me what I want to know and what I want him to do. I have not had many doctors be so up front with me. I told him I just want to be me, the way I was before I developed this, I want to know how to get back to who I was. It took him a little while, but he admitted that Hashimotos patients never get back to 100%, you can get close, but never again would I be the old me. He told me he was Buddhist and he has learned that we are never who we used to be and things could be worse. I realized what he was saying, every moment changes us, every experience, but to stop and look around and know that things will be OK.
I admit I was a bit upset, I really had hope that I could get "me" back. I began to cry, I couldn't help it, something came over me and I... in a way felt hopeless. He told me he would help me with anything I need. He suggested some more tests to rule out other health issues that might be effecting me. I have clammed down and realize this is just the way I am, I cant change it. But I also know I can help it with naturally by taking care of myself. I really loved the fact that he was Buddhist and that he was so honest and up front. I have had doctors promise me that if they put me on this pill or that I will feel better, yadda, yadda. If I have learned anything its that there is no "magic" pill or quick fix.
The gluten free lifestyle is going very well. In fact since we were in the city today we were hungry and wanted to eat. We went into California Pizza Kitchen, they had gluten free food, however there were no gluten free pizza. We talked to the waiter and he said they took the gluten free pizza away because of employees and cross contamination. I really wish the restaurants would educate the employees on different allergies and the importance of handling food properly. We ended up at Pier 49 Pizza and they had gluten free pizza. I was pleasantly surprised at the taste. Cody got a regular meat lover pizza and tasted my gluten free Hawaiian and he liked mine better.
I am so thankful to have family that loves me. To have met my birth fathers family and have them in my life. To have such a wonderful husband that loves me so deeply and takes care of me. To have a job and money. To have a house, that we have made a home. All these things and more in my life that are so wonderful. Sometimes I forget how much I really have, I realize I need to step back and see how truly lucky I am.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Sunday, November 20, 2011
I need direction to perfection
I realized I am the worst blogger ever. I didn't even put history or meaning to what I have wrote. So here is the long history to my madness.
Back in March 2009 I got the worst headache of my life at my Aunt Patty's birthday party. The room started spinning, I could barely walk and thought my head would explode. My Mom was with me and she walked me to the car and I started to hyperventilate, I seriously thought I was going to die. We went to the Mountain Death...I mean Mountain West E.R. and they told me it would be at least an hour wait. I held my head in the waiting room in complete agony. As time went on, I started to feel better and decided I wasn't going to pay for this crap and went home.
The next day I was completely wiped out, I didn't feel right. Days following I kept getting headaches. I decided to get a doctors appt. with a local doctor. She tested me and found my thyroid was under active and diagnosed me with hypothyroid. She put me on synthroid (man made thyroid hormone) and I felt worse, my hair started to fall out and I became very depressed, it was one of the biggest lows in my life. I told her about it and she said it was normal and to exercise more.
I did a whole lot of research and found a Naturopathic doctor. I had never been to this kind of doctor before and thought it was different. He did extensive blood work and diagnosed me with Hashimotos disease November 6th. He prescribed me Armour (Natural thyroid hormone) I felt a tiny bit better, but still felt out of it and depressed. I found that I blocked things out of my mind from that time. We bought our house and I was feeling a bit better. I remember we went to my cousins wedding in North Dakota and getting back and just getting so depressed and crazy. I decided to just stop my medication, I was done having Hashimotos and I didn't want to live this way,I was in denial. Well that didn't work and I was soon back to my Naturopathic doctor. He did more tests and said he had seen how other patients were having success on T3 and T4 medication. I started this new medication method and found it worked better than all the other meds. I still don't feel 100% "me" yet, but closer than I ever have. This fall I found that I was getting that "off" feeling again with erratic moods and feelings.
I went back to my Naturopathic doc and did tests. My thyroid levels had shifted once again. We raised my medication levels and I am feeling...."better", but I still feel off. My hair is falling out, facial twitching, my arm goes numb and tingly, bones creek, and I cant remember my ass from my head. That is when I remembered how my Naturopathic doc wanted me to start a gluten free lifestyle. After much research and thought, here I am.
1. WHAT IS HASHIMOTOS? Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis is an autoimmune thyroid disease in which your thyroid is being attacked by your own immune system via antibodies, attempting to destroy your gland. It may start out silently, but the attack will eventually cause an inflammation and gradual destruction of your thyroid gland and can go on for years with miserable side effects to match. It can also cause nodules or lumps.
2. Symptoms of Hashimoto's thyroiditis include: Myxedematous psychosis, weight gain, depression, mania, sensitivity to heat and cold, paresthesia, fatigue, panic attacks, bradycardia, tachycardia, high cholesterol, reactive hypoglycemia, constipation, migraines, muscle weakness, cramps, memory loss, infertility, and hair loss.
3. So why am I attempting to go gluten -free: Research shows there can be a strong connection between having Hashimoto’s disease and Celiac disease. Celiac disease is a autoimmune digestive disorder that results in an overreaction to gluten, a protein found in most grains like wheat, rye, oats and barley, which can be found in breads, cereals, pasta and many processed foods. The overreaction, causes autoimmune damage to the intestines, which results in poor absorption of nutrients. (Oats, which can be gluten-free, are often contaminated within soil where gluten grains were once grown, or in the processing facility).
Gluten can also trigger the very autoimmune reactions that cause you to have Hashi’s, since supposedly, the cells of your thyroid are similar to the cells of gluten, i.e. an attack on one is going to make your ripe for the attack on the other. As a result, some Hashimoto’s patients experiment with eliminating gluten from their diets, and with good results. Or, there are tests developed to help you figure out if you have Celiac disease, and the stool test is highly recommended.
References:
1. & 3. http://www.stopthethyroidmadness.com/hashimotos/
2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hashimoto%27s_thyroiditis
Now that we got all that medical/history mumbo jumbo out of the way I have to say...YAY! I got my bread machine and was able to eat bread on Saturday. We also visited Grandma Brown on Friday and I just felt awful when she wanted to make us dinner and I told her that I wanted to go gluten free for my health. She searched and searched for something gluten free, I told her not to worry about it. I ended up having salad and Cody and Grandma had pizza. It was really nice to visit and catch up. I have been doing good on my new gluten free lifestyle and hope to see some results soon.
Back in March 2009 I got the worst headache of my life at my Aunt Patty's birthday party. The room started spinning, I could barely walk and thought my head would explode. My Mom was with me and she walked me to the car and I started to hyperventilate, I seriously thought I was going to die. We went to the Mountain Death...I mean Mountain West E.R. and they told me it would be at least an hour wait. I held my head in the waiting room in complete agony. As time went on, I started to feel better and decided I wasn't going to pay for this crap and went home.
The next day I was completely wiped out, I didn't feel right. Days following I kept getting headaches. I decided to get a doctors appt. with a local doctor. She tested me and found my thyroid was under active and diagnosed me with hypothyroid. She put me on synthroid (man made thyroid hormone) and I felt worse, my hair started to fall out and I became very depressed, it was one of the biggest lows in my life. I told her about it and she said it was normal and to exercise more.
I did a whole lot of research and found a Naturopathic doctor. I had never been to this kind of doctor before and thought it was different. He did extensive blood work and diagnosed me with Hashimotos disease November 6th. He prescribed me Armour (Natural thyroid hormone) I felt a tiny bit better, but still felt out of it and depressed. I found that I blocked things out of my mind from that time. We bought our house and I was feeling a bit better. I remember we went to my cousins wedding in North Dakota and getting back and just getting so depressed and crazy. I decided to just stop my medication, I was done having Hashimotos and I didn't want to live this way,I was in denial. Well that didn't work and I was soon back to my Naturopathic doctor. He did more tests and said he had seen how other patients were having success on T3 and T4 medication. I started this new medication method and found it worked better than all the other meds. I still don't feel 100% "me" yet, but closer than I ever have. This fall I found that I was getting that "off" feeling again with erratic moods and feelings.
I went back to my Naturopathic doc and did tests. My thyroid levels had shifted once again. We raised my medication levels and I am feeling...."better", but I still feel off. My hair is falling out, facial twitching, my arm goes numb and tingly, bones creek, and I cant remember my ass from my head. That is when I remembered how my Naturopathic doc wanted me to start a gluten free lifestyle. After much research and thought, here I am.
1. WHAT IS HASHIMOTOS? Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis is an autoimmune thyroid disease in which your thyroid is being attacked by your own immune system via antibodies, attempting to destroy your gland. It may start out silently, but the attack will eventually cause an inflammation and gradual destruction of your thyroid gland and can go on for years with miserable side effects to match. It can also cause nodules or lumps.
2. Symptoms of Hashimoto's thyroiditis include: Myxedematous psychosis, weight gain, depression, mania, sensitivity to heat and cold, paresthesia, fatigue, panic attacks, bradycardia, tachycardia, high cholesterol, reactive hypoglycemia, constipation, migraines, muscle weakness, cramps, memory loss, infertility, and hair loss.
3. So why am I attempting to go gluten -free: Research shows there can be a strong connection between having Hashimoto’s disease and Celiac disease. Celiac disease is a autoimmune digestive disorder that results in an overreaction to gluten, a protein found in most grains like wheat, rye, oats and barley, which can be found in breads, cereals, pasta and many processed foods. The overreaction, causes autoimmune damage to the intestines, which results in poor absorption of nutrients. (Oats, which can be gluten-free, are often contaminated within soil where gluten grains were once grown, or in the processing facility).
Gluten can also trigger the very autoimmune reactions that cause you to have Hashi’s, since supposedly, the cells of your thyroid are similar to the cells of gluten, i.e. an attack on one is going to make your ripe for the attack on the other. As a result, some Hashimoto’s patients experiment with eliminating gluten from their diets, and with good results. Or, there are tests developed to help you figure out if you have Celiac disease, and the stool test is highly recommended.
References:
1. & 3. http://www.stopthethyroidmadness.com/hashimotos/
2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hashimoto%27s_thyroiditis
Now that we got all that medical/history mumbo jumbo out of the way I have to say...YAY! I got my bread machine and was able to eat bread on Saturday. We also visited Grandma Brown on Friday and I just felt awful when she wanted to make us dinner and I told her that I wanted to go gluten free for my health. She searched and searched for something gluten free, I told her not to worry about it. I ended up having salad and Cody and Grandma had pizza. It was really nice to visit and catch up. I have been doing good on my new gluten free lifestyle and hope to see some results soon.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Harder than I thought.
I decided Tuesday November 15th, that I would just do it, just go gluten free. I know it is pretty easy from an advanced gluten free expert and so I thought by reading blogs and such, "How hard could it be". The emotional and physical aspects have been rough. Yesterday I got pretty depressed, tired, a headache and my bones ached. I couldn't figure out why. After looking into "The Bible"...AKA Internet, I found that there are withdrawal symptoms. Ahah! This must be it. This morning I have been weak, dizzy, anxious, slightly depressed and my eyes hurt. Weird how the body reacts to such things. I hope it doesn't last long and I can be strong through all this. I really wan to get feeling better.
I have been kinda feeling sorry for myself with all this gluten free talk. Just thinking about how Thanksgiving and Xmas will go over. Either having to bring my own food or not eating. I don't want to tell my poor Grandma cause I don't want her to feel bad, but I feel she will feel bad if I don't eat her dinner. Will she feel bad if I bring my own food? I hate thinking about it, but know I will have to face it like a woman. I don't want my family to feel like I am being difficult or prissy. I feel they wont understand that I am just looking out for my health. I feel its something I have to do, to see if this will make me feel like me again or at least feel alive.
I have been kinda feeling sorry for myself with all this gluten free talk. Just thinking about how Thanksgiving and Xmas will go over. Either having to bring my own food or not eating. I don't want to tell my poor Grandma cause I don't want her to feel bad, but I feel she will feel bad if I don't eat her dinner. Will she feel bad if I bring my own food? I hate thinking about it, but know I will have to face it like a woman. I don't want my family to feel like I am being difficult or prissy. I feel they wont understand that I am just looking out for my health. I feel its something I have to do, to see if this will make me feel like me again or at least feel alive.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Over the weekend.
We went to Grandma Brown's house to visit and take her grocery shopping. It is always nice to visit with Grandma Brown, I love all the knowledge and stories she has. Cody payed the lunch bill and she got pretty angry, but I feel it is the right thing to do and she shouldn't be offended by it.
We had to stop by our local Walmart on the way home....Which I hate. I have to complain about our local Walmart, because it is always out of everything, there are too many people there and they don't even carry allot of what I want. When I want to go to a good Walmart, I take a drive to Saratoga, now thats a good Walmart, its not as busy, it has TONS of cool things and when I go to reach for something it is there. It just sucks because usually we are in Salt Lake, not Saratoga. When will Tooele get a Target???? I hope soon.
So I have been researching how to go gluten free. I have learned alot, but still feel lost. I have read allot of blogs about it and thought about getting a bread maker. I am pretty excited about it, I love making bread, but its allot of work. So if anyone is actually reading this thing and has tips on going gluten free or bread makers, hit me up. I need all the information I can get.
We had to stop by our local Walmart on the way home....Which I hate. I have to complain about our local Walmart, because it is always out of everything, there are too many people there and they don't even carry allot of what I want. When I want to go to a good Walmart, I take a drive to Saratoga, now thats a good Walmart, its not as busy, it has TONS of cool things and when I go to reach for something it is there. It just sucks because usually we are in Salt Lake, not Saratoga. When will Tooele get a Target???? I hope soon.
So I have been researching how to go gluten free. I have learned alot, but still feel lost. I have read allot of blogs about it and thought about getting a bread maker. I am pretty excited about it, I love making bread, but its allot of work. So if anyone is actually reading this thing and has tips on going gluten free or bread makers, hit me up. I need all the information I can get.
Friday, November 11, 2011
When there's nowhere else to run.
After much internet research I have come to the conclusion that Hashimotos disease sucks.... not that I didn't already know that. However, I realize that there is so much information out there to help anyone with Hashimotos to get feeling better. Such as eliminating gluten and fixing your gut and exercising. I do not need to spend 6k to get the information I need, its at my fingertips, I can do it myself, it just might take longer. But I have decided I am going to ease into it, because I have just gone grocery shopping and I am not going to waste all my money by getting rid of my food. Plus I am still learning about the gluten free lifestyle. I am scared to embark on this new lifestyle, but also optimistic. Allot of what I have read shows that when Hashimoto sufferers went gluten free, allot of their symptoms subsided and they felt great. It is worth a shot.
I pondered about it for a while and it feels similar to a time in my life before when I was lost. I was more than 210 pounds and wanting to look and feel better, but didn't really have the knowledge or willpower. I didn't want to give up my liter of Coke or my Red Barron Pizza or HoHo's. But after learning what I needed to do and getting sick of being unhealthy, I changed what I ate, I started working out. I learned allot of things along the way, their is no magic pill, its hard work and dedication. Willpower got easier once I started feeling better. It was a hard lifestyle change, but I am so glad I did it, the only regret is that I didn't loose that weight sooner. But here I am at 121 pounds now and its not that I still don't have hard times, I just know what to do to correct it.
I am sure that this journey will be similar, hard times will come, but if I feel better that will be my motivation. I am so happy I have people who support and care about me too. I don't know where I would be without the people who love me.
I pondered about it for a while and it feels similar to a time in my life before when I was lost. I was more than 210 pounds and wanting to look and feel better, but didn't really have the knowledge or willpower. I didn't want to give up my liter of Coke or my Red Barron Pizza or HoHo's. But after learning what I needed to do and getting sick of being unhealthy, I changed what I ate, I started working out. I learned allot of things along the way, their is no magic pill, its hard work and dedication. Willpower got easier once I started feeling better. It was a hard lifestyle change, but I am so glad I did it, the only regret is that I didn't loose that weight sooner. But here I am at 121 pounds now and its not that I still don't have hard times, I just know what to do to correct it.
I am sure that this journey will be similar, hard times will come, but if I feel better that will be my motivation. I am so happy I have people who support and care about me too. I don't know where I would be without the people who love me.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Hmmmm...
Well I feel I have been in a bubble lately. I have been sick, lost my voice and been thinking of new doctors. Go figure get my nose pierced and 2 days later get a cold. Any who, I like my current doctor, but don't think he is helping me as much as I want. So today I went to a new one. He seemed like he had passion and knowledge about blood chemistry, endocrinology, and could help me with my Hashimoto's disease. I feel I need something new, some breakthrough. I have felt like my body has kidnapped me for more than 2 years now and I am done. I want to be myself again, I want my own thoughts back, I want to be optimistic again. I don't want to have to explain to people why I have tremors or memory loss. I feel I am being left behind. This doctors price tag was pretty steep 6,000$ steep. I know he has customers who come from Indiana to see him and swear by him. How do I know his program will even work. I have a mortgage to pay, other medical bills to pay. If I knew it was a sure thing I would have signed up. But I am thinking about it. I have a different endocrinologist appt. , I will see what he has to say. How many doctors do I have to go to? How long will I feel this way? Shifting from fine, to happy, to sad, to numb, to angry, to scared. I'm looking for a sign, something to guide me to the right decision. I want to find ME again, but in this economy I am so scared to commit to more dept. I am feeling a bit better, even thinking of oil painting again.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
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